Mr Tourettes’ Guide To The Census.

Having just put the f###ing clocks forward again, I’ve remembered about this f###ing census crap!

Knowing me as some of you do (nosey f@ckers) I was taking it quite seriously, the thought of telling the our government all about The Tourettes family (F###ing hell & I thought you lot were nosey) When Mrs Tourettes announced that she’d lost the f###ing cenus.

Oh f###ing hell what the f#ck are we going to f###ing do? We’ll get f###ing deported!

F###ing hell deported I thought. Where to? Poland? Czechoslovf##ingvakia both places are as empty as the f###ing Governments  purse because every f#cker is here scrounging off us.

We could move there start up a new f###ing country; may be “Tourettetopia”! Ban any f#cker who we don’t f###ing like or won’t toe the f###ing line. In fact we could just send them f###ing here ‘cos that seems to be the minimum qualification anyone needs to get in.

Then the master plan emerged. I won’t claim as mine, some other f#cker thought of it.

We all fill in the form as a one legged lesbian decorator, called Andy Toilet (No offence to lesbians. I went to lesbia once & it’s a f###ing lovely country)

The real reason for this f###ing invasion into our lives is: They’ve lost count of how many f###ing illegal immigrants they’ve let into our country over the last 20 f###ing years. Another one of Mr Tony f###ing Blaires legacies!

To quote Al Murray (The Pub Land lord) Just in case someone doesn’t Know who he f####ing is!

“Shame on you, you scrounging bastards , shame on you!”

Shame is what this f###ing  country needs. Shame on any f###er who scrounges and does not repay in some f###ing way.

Lets face it. If you receive money for doing f##k all, you should be shamed and f###ing made to do something towards the country that’s keeping you, and that doesn’t mean making f###ing bombs to destroy us with and preaching f###ing hatred against the country that has taken them in. Never bite the f###ing hand that f###ing feeds you!

In fact I want to go a step further. What the f#ck happened to Treason? Years ago if any one even f###ing uttered a word against the Queen (God bless her) they’d be thrown in The Tower. Best f###ing place for the vermin if you ask me!

But the great British public seem to have lost their stomach for a good battle, we seem to be happy to let these scrounging bastards live off us and take the piss. Shame on them!

Now the same has to be said for these f###ing fat cat bastards in the oil business. They’re bleeding us f###ing dry. What do we do about it, whinge and f###ing moan! Saying things like: “Why is fuel cheaper in France? I thought we lived in a common market!” Like f#ck we do; if the French government tried to do what our Governments have done to us over the last 20 years, there would be a f###ing riot. I welcome any one who can make a great living from good means. What I can’t f###ing stand is some robbing bastard who takes the piss out of the f###ing vulnerable! That includes any f##er who comes here to scrounge a living!