Mr Tourettes View On:”On-Line” Legal Advise and money that banks owe you/mis-sold ppi!

What a load of F###ing Sharks these bastards are! You pay £11.00 for advise, which Me being a thick f###er thought that was that..What a twat I must be! Little did I f####ing know that once you’ve paid  your said £11.00 f###ing hard earned cash; that’s f###ing it ; you’ve signed up for 12 f###ing months of free f###ing legal advise! So me being f###ing me, phone up the bank to stop the 2nd f###ing payment going through, and guess f###ing what!? I f###ing can’t! Not for 51 f###ing days! It’s a f###ing legal loop hole! So I thought I go on-line to get some f###ing legal advise from said f###ing  shark. To be told “Tuff f###ing Tities! There’s f#ck all you can do about it mate, you’ve signed up for 12 months, do you honestly think you’d get legal advise for £11.00?” Rosipsa loquita.(Buyer be ware) Is the legal term! So going back to the trusty bank, I f###ing ask them to stop any further f###ing payments..and again they say: “Can’t do that, but if you pay us £6.00 a month you can get FREE LEGAL ADVISE from us! So I f###ing told them where to shove their f###ing advise! So if anyone wants any f###ing legal advise; ask me!

Now there’s the other f###ing low life scum, who phone you up, to tell you that your bank owes you £4000.00!!!

They give you a reference number; and guarantee you a return, No commission, all for a one off fee of £99.00. There’s an adidge in life…”If it seems to good to be true, it is”!

So for some free advice from Mr Tourettes: If some one tells you that you are owed money, tell them to f#ck off and shove their f###ing phone where the sun doesn’t shine!

For more advise just send me a new £50.00!!:)

 

Posted in Blaires' Legacy., Criminals and other Low life, global economy., Master wanker Spammers, On-Line Legal Advise, The Labour Party | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Mr Tourettes’ View on The Fuel Protests!

It’s a f#cking con.

At first I thought that the strikes were about the price of f#cking fuel!

How f#cking thick am I?

No it’s about their working conditions! They drive f#cking lorries for f#ck sake!

I know I going to upset a few people here!!! I really don’t give a f#ck!

But hang on a mo’! Just like f#cking lemmings every one is rushing out buying f#cking fuel at inflated prices like its going out of fashion! How many more millions of pounds has the powers that be raised in extra VAT and duty, because :”There might be a f#cking strike”?

I want to beg for some f#cking common sense! Don’t rush out and fill up, that’s exactly what “they” want us to do!

But I see I’m too f#cking late! The vast majority of th U.K. have rushed out like a bunch of f#cking Lemmings and jumped off the cliff we call Petrol stations!

There won’t be a f#cking strike until after the Easter Bank Holiday! Why? Because the f#cking unions would not strike on a Bank Holiday because it f#ck up their holidays too much!

Any who!!! Have a nice Easter.

Posted in Blaire, Blaires' Legacy., fuel, global economy., The Labour Party | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Mr Tourettes’ View on Mr Jeremy Clarkson and The Strikers/Unions!

Whilst I appreciate that most of public sector do an amazing job; some of them, however,  are there for the f###ing ride! They sit on their fat arses, do f@ck all and get paid a f####ing fortune for it! Just check out most of your council offices! A game they play is: Lets see how long this tray of filing can stay on my desk!

Some people in The Public Sector have no f###ing idea what it’s like to be self employed! They expect a salary increase every f###ing year, and a guaranteed pension at the end of their career!

Whilst the people who are in the Private Sector/self employed, probably only get an increase if they work hard and longer for it and a pension if they pay into one!

Yes I know it was their decision!

What I’m saying here is: Be f###ing grateful you’ve got a f###ing job, because there are f###ing millions out there would give their right f###ing arm for your place!

If you’ve read this much you’re doing well! 

Yes I know that the wankers….sorry Bankers have really bolloxed things up! and they’ve been bailed out of the shit more times than a pissed tramp; but its doesn’t make it right!

Whether we like it or f###ing  not our once great country is f#cked! We’re like the great cow being milked dry by every one!  As I keep saying in previous bits..It’s about time we f####ing off loaded the f###ing “dead wood” of this country and started looking after ourselves…it’s not a f###ing charity and it’s not a f###ing human right! You’ve got a job, things are f###ing tight out there!

Did Lord Clarkson mention that they should pay for the bullets?

Posted in Blaires' Legacy., Criminals and other Low life, global economy. | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Mr Tourettes View on Global Warming!

After many years of serious study I have to conclude: Well f###ing hell it’s finally here!

For as far back as I can f###ing remember, we’ve been warned by our friendly scientist types about “Global Warming“! And it’s finally arrived!!! 1.12.11 it’s f####ing 8.5c in North Wales!

The Rain forest is a reminder of how fragile our planet is! But still nobody stops these f###ing little wood chopping bastards to stop chopping trees!(can we have some for our log burner please?)

Now we’re having a go at Antarctica and how much f####ing ice is left!

Tonnes of the stuff! Over the last millions of years there has been a f###ing load of ice somewhere on the planet…Some scientist types have even suggested that the poles have moved from east to west, then north to south! (F###ing Poles get every where)

What really is starting to get up my f###ing nose is: We’re paying these scientist types to do these “studies” to go boldly where no one has been before..and indeed where no one is likely to go because it’s too f###ing cold! When somebody has already f###ing been there! Mr David Attenbourough! The clue is there!

If Sir David has been there, it’s true, there must be ice!

So to conclude.…Does one f###ing month in 300 years equal “Global f###ing warming” Or as I suspect..is the Earth on another tilting exercise…It’s f###ing possible that every f###ing time these f###ing Poles move the Earth looses its’ balance. So Stop Immigration Now before it’s too f###ing late!

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Mr Tourettes Guide To: “Having” Big Teeth!

Some people are just f###ing goofey; others have big teeth!

I don’t know if you’ve read the f###ing papers recently! But there has been a f###ing amazing storey…the best I’ve read for f###ing weeks; a storey that beats the f#ck out of any shit that you’ve read about “The Euro” or anything regarding politics..it takes a real f###ing look at what is f###ing important!

Mickey and Mini Mouse Getting a Divorce.

Mickey Mouse and Mini Mouse were in court, having a divorce, trying to decide who gets all the billions of pounds. After much deliberation the judge came to his f###ing conclusion:

Mr Justice says to Mickey: “I can’t possibly grant you a divorce on the grounds that Mini Mouse has got big teeth!

Mickey Mouse turns around to face the judge (and Mickey is looking really f###ed off)and says: “I didn’t say Mini Mouse had big teeth; I said she was f###ing Goofey!”

 

Posted in Alternative energy, People who do SPAM | Tagged | 1 Comment

Mr Tourettes View On: The Governments’ Idea on: People Who Sign-On Should Do Something To Earn Their Benefits!

To be honest, it makes my f###ing blood boil!

Whilst I agree that nobody should get anything for free; I do believe that this latest crock of horse shit our illustrious Government have dreamt up, is only going to give the huge super markets and other big companies a rein to have free if not subsidised employment! The employers will inevertibly lay-off most of their loyal staff to replace them with cheap labour, poorly trained and even f###ing ruder than their staff are normally! Which leads to the next f####ing question: Will they pass the saving on to their customers? Like f#ck they will!

Why not give these people jobs in the Banks? They couldn’t do much f###ing worse and they could be as rude as they f###ing like!

If there are jobs out there and these big companies can “take-on” more staff then why aren’t they?  Because there is no real employment out there, they are bleeding us dry!

The other way that these people should look at this latest drive for cheap/slave labour is: They treat it as a “step” onto the labour/work ladder..a chance to get a glowing C.V. a real chance to improve themselves, to relight that dwindling fire in their belly!

But hang on a f###ing moment…some of these free loaders have been signing-on for f###ing years…They’ve got a Human f###ing Right to live off the backs of hard working people like us. That is why half of f###ing Eastern Europe are piling over hear to bleed us dry! Why? Because f####ing Brussels  and the Eurocrats say they can!

In my view, M.P.’s should have real stint in the real world of “having a job” that isn’t subsidised by us! Then they might understand what it’s like in this F###ing world that they’ve created! They claim for everything! So maybe they are the ones that need to do something to justify their exorbitant salaries and f###ing expenses!

There again lets not forget Immigration! If we did not have some many f###ing  people piling into our Fair Isle we would not have such a f###ing mess to clear up!

Bring back National Conscription I hear you say! Why should The Services have to put up with some of the types that “sign-on”?(I know they’re are not all of that “type”, so keep your f###ing hair on) The same could be said for Super Markets ect!

To consolidate my view: I do believe that people who sign-on should do something to benefit our Country,(not the multi-nationals) something meaningful, just a few hours a week, so nobody can say they earn less than the National wage; at least they can say that they have earned their benefit(because they all want to feel like that don’t they?); so they would no longer be known as “scroungers” by certain people! That would make The Government the biggest employer in the Country! So would they have to pay N.I.? (Now there’s a f###ing thought!) They’d be contributing towards the pensions and other failing systems that they’re managing to f#ck up (created by labour and Mr f###ing Blaire)

What the f#ck am I saying? I’ve been unemployed and f###ing signed-on, so I do know what it’s like, it’s f###ing degrading at the best; but I have to say, that whilst queuing up for the weekly session with Mrs F###ing-Hitler. I have to say that there are some right f###ing Scallies who know the f###ing system inside out and know how to bleed it dry! After all it’s their f###ing Human Right! They claim for f###ing everything and anything they can! Everything from their f###ing dog to a new conservatory! So it’s not the “scroungers,” (as some people may call them) it’s the f###ing system!

In theory it’s a f###ing good idea. Having people earn their benefits. But who is going to manage it? How much would that cost? Not just to set up, but to employ staff to do it, to manage those staff, to train those staff…a whole new Government depatment has just been born!

2.8 million unemployed people,(that’s about the size of your average Government Department)you do the f###ing sums. In short the system is well and truly f#cked! Sorry guys that is the truth. No matter how f###ing brilliant you Economists are, you didn’t see that one coming did you!

 

Posted in Blaire, Blaires' Legacy., Criminals and other Low life, Homeless, Mr Tourettes guide to fast food & Political correctness., Mr Tourettes Guide To The Budget, Mr Tourettes' Guide To The Census | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Mr Tourettes’ View on “The Global Economy”:(

Basically our friends “The Germans” could not take over Europe as a whole during the 2nd World War, so now they’ve invented a whole new strategy…”The Euro Zone”!

Clever little f#ckers really. They seem to have conveniently forgotten who f###ing well bailed them out of financial f####ing ruin after the war….us. (Not The USA)!!

 

Now this whole f###ing mess was decreed a while ago. Well back in “The Renaissance”!

“F###ing hell”! I hear you say.

The master plan.

First, the clever Germans were supposed to take over Europe by force! That didn’t f###ing work, their economy is f#cked!!

So they lost the war? They decided to introduce The Versailles Treaty! Which f###ing stipulates that if a country looses a f###ing war the victor has to pay them f###ing damages!!

So 40ish years down the f##ing line here we are being held to ransom by a country who was the f###ing poorest in The Euro Zone! They’re telling us and all the other f####ing countries how to run our business! They have invited all the other war torn poor countries to join The Euro Zone just to bleed them f###ing dry threw tax!

You see History does repeat it self. Remember the Romans! Where are they now!

Eleven years ago Mrs Tourettes and I went To Lanzarote, f###ing lovely holiday! F####ing windy though. They were in the process of adopting the f###ing Euro! They’d been told a pack of f###ing lies by the banks(No change there then)about how The Euro would benefit their economy!! I f###ing told them my f###ing views and low and behold I was f###ing right! They’re f#cked! These countries have never really had to pay tax…They’ve never needed to. Now they’re being f###ing fleeced, just like us!

The quicker we divorce ourselves from the E.U. and everything it stands for, the f###ing better. Political correctness and all that shit comes from that shower of shits. Human f###ing rights..my f###ing arse! What about Human f###ing needs instead?!

It’s not even Tony F###ing Blaires fault he’s just a pawn in a f###ing huge game!

Decimalisation! We went from gallons to litres and got charged the f###ing same, plus a bit!

Back in the @70’s we had a f###ing disaster…The worst crash ever caused by the f###ing Labour party tw@ They pumped money that we didn’t f###ing have into the f#cked economy…We were rescued by the unpopular Mrs”T”!( not my Mrs “T”)

Now I’ve just heard that the f###ing Banks are prepared to do the same af###ing gain!

The question here is: If the banks can throw f###ing Billions of pounds at the economy, where the f#ck are they getting the money from? Is there really a global f###ing recession or are we being taken for a f###ing ride? If the western world is bankrupt as the f###ing media make out we are f#cked!

So the question again is: Where is The Bank of England getting the f###ing dosh from!?

I therefore refer to my page on the Introduction of the 5p charge on carrier bags!

So as the “Global Economy” spirals out of f###ing control, the first of many prime ministers are being forced out of control, to be replaced by some f###ing arse licking tw@ that the powers that be want! I don’t pretend to know the answers here, but the problems seem to be with the f###ing introduction of the f###ing Euro and the introduction of countries that clearly thought it was a f###ing great idea to join the E.E.C.

I know I’m probably repeating myself here; but for f#ck sake, how many times does f####ing history have to repeat itself?!

Posted in Blaires' Legacy., Criminals and other Low life, global economy., Mr Tourettes guide to fast food & Political correctness., Mr Tourettes Guide To The Budget, Roundabouts | Tagged , , , | 8 Comments

Mr Tourettes’ View on Supermarkets and their 5p a bag charge!

The way I see this(yet another profiteering exercise on behalf of the Government and supermarkets) is that the problem was first introduced by the f###ing supermarkets in the first place for a bit more free advertising and to litter the nation for decades to come, from the depths of our country side the the depths of our oceans!

I can remember Grandma Tourettes on her shopping trips armed with only her wicker basket and a couple of nylon carry bags…Those were the days!

30 years on and we’re our now being told we’ve got to pay 5p a f###ing bag! One of  two things are going to happen here. People are going to say: “F#ck that for a game of soldiers”and the f###ing supermarkets will be left with warehouses full of f###ing bags(good plan) or the Great British public will just think oh f#ck it, it’s only 5p!

Lets just work that one out!..5p a bag! Lets just say the average shop consists of 6 f###ing bags. That’s 30p say twice a f###ing week…60p..that’s an average of £31.60 a year! Equate that little f###ing number to the 2.5 million households in the U.K. That makes(if I’m f###ing correct)£790,000.00!! If I’m wrong blame the fact that a byslexic f###er! Even so, you have to agree! It’s a f###ing lot of money! That wasn’t put in the budget.

Now go f###ing global on those figures and Bingo recession over! All because of the humble plastic bag!

But what is really starting to piss me off is: You go to a clothes shop and spend a f###ing fortune on clothes and the f###ing assistant says: “That’s an extra 5p per bag please sir!”

You’ve got to be f###ing joking; just put it on the price and don’t f###ing insult me!

I think it’s taking the piss a bit don’t you!?

Mind you it’s all for charity mate! Arseholes.

 

 

Posted in Blaire, global economy., Mr Tourettes guide to fast food & Political correctness., Mr Tourettes Guide To The Budget | Tagged , , | 8 Comments

Mr Tourettes Guide To Loosing Your Reputation!

Mrs Tourettes and I have just had f###ing wonderful holiday in Benidorm!

Apart from one day when f###ing pissed down! Mrs “T” said she was bored f###ing stiff.  So I decided to ask our f###ing rep what the f#ck we could do.

She said, go for a walk and explore the great Town Of Benidorm. I said f#ck off it’s f####ing raining.The reply came back:” Well take a f###ing umbrella”

Before we left the hotel our rep warned us about “Carlos The Cock Sucker”! She said you can’t miss him, he’s normally sat a mound of stone! Carlos The Cock sucker I thought, that’s a f###ing crap name!

So off we went on our walk in the f###ing rain…Mrs “T” trying to get me into every f###ing shop Possible!

Walking around a corner in the old part of town we came across a f###ing huge pile of rocks: On top was sat this Man dressed in a white linen suit a Panama Hat, smoking a f###ing huge cigar!

I shouted up to him “Oi are you Carlos The Cock sucker?” Every one around stopped what they were doing, you could hear a f###ing pin drop!

He Shouted back”Si Sennior… I am Carlos The Cock Sucker”

“Nice to meet you….Why do they call you Carlos The Cock Sucker?” I asked .

“Do you see the fishing Boats in the bay? My Great, Great grand father he build the boats, my Great grand father, he maintained the boats, my Grand father , he also maintain the boats, my father before me he also maintain the…I maintain the boats…Do they call me “Carlos The Boat Builder”? Do they f#ck!

“The cobbled streets….For generations my family have maintained the streets. Do they call me “Carlos The street builder”? Do they f#ck”!

“The church where every one goes to three times on a Sunday. My Great great great Grand father, he build this church, my Great, great, grand father carry on building the church; my Great grand father ,he maintain the church., my Grand father he also maintain the church, my father before me he maintain the church, I my self ,I maintain the church…only last I replaced all the tiles on the roof!  Do they call me “Carlos The Church Builder ? Do they f#ck”!

“I suck the one cock”!

Still don’t know why he’s called Carlos!!

 

Posted in Mr Tourettes guide to fast food & Political correctness. | Tagged , , , | 9 Comments

Mr Tourettes View on These F####ing Rioters!

Firstly would like to apologise to Mr Tampon Car Rentals for being a bit f###ing boreing of late (I refere to my Home Page)

What the f#ck is wrong with this bunch of tw@ts rioting in some of our cities?

Apparently they are so poor they can only afford £300.00 trainers and Blackberrys!

They’re a f###ing disgrace and should be f###ing exported to some war zone and used as target practice.

What I don’t f###ing get is: That this all started by The Old Bill shooting at some f###ing Hood with a gun!!

In any other country; having a gun in public  is generally accepted as “breaking The f###ing law!”

I blame the f###ing parents! Mrs “T” and I have brought up our two with respect for all (except f##kers like these rioting tw@s). I have to say that I admire the Turks and other eastern races (that I can’t f###ing mention in case I’m accused of being a f###ing rascist) for guarding their own property! Well done!

I also blame the f###ing liberal under belly of our society for stopping teachers from giving these f#ckers a f###ing good slap if they misbehave in school!

Apparently we can’t advertise these f#ckers because  of their human rights!

So I’ve been having a think!

If we know who the little f#ckers are and we know where they f###ing live; lets go and f###ing riot their f###ing homes!

I know two wrongs don’t make a right…but some one has to get a message back to them! We’re all f###ing struggling to make a f####ing living, so lets work together!

This country is being run by criminals…Not just the politicians, but real criminals. Who else could organise such a act of anarchy in such a small space of time!?

The social unrest has been brought on by the way the country has been run for the last 15 years! These riots are similar to the riots of the ’70’s except in the ’70’s the riots were about jobs and not some f###ing hood!

Or are they?

Now what we need is a deterant: Public flogging, humiliate the f###ing w@nkers!

Make them clean the streets, whilst wearing a chain and f###ing ball!

Now our amazing Government want to stop “Social Sites” in times of Rioting! A bit f###ing late really. Any way if the f###ing idiots are so poor how can they afford a f###ing computer and pay for Broad  Band. Mr f###ing Blaire did not see that one coming! Now he’s trying to squirm his f###ing way out of his 10 years of shambolic f###ing leadership by saying he never had any f###ing problems!!! What about The Bulgers, Iraq, Afganistan…..”Back to Basics”..Whose f###ing idea was that? As I’m always f###ing saying: Every thing that tw@ touched has gone f###ing tits up! What a legacy!

The point that they’re trying to make is they have no jobs, they’re bored, the immigrants have taken their jobs! What a load of f###ing shit. These lazy f###ers just want to scrounge of us, steal what they f###ing want and blame society. Then Mrs “T” has come up with a plan…It’ll take a few years to perfect, but it’s a f###ing good plan!

Sterilise the f###ers!

 

Enoch Powell was right! It would seem.

 

Posted in Blaire, Blaires' Legacy., Criminals and other Low life, Mr Tourettes guide to fast food & Political correctness., The Labour Party | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments