Mr Tourettes Guide To Loosing Your Reputation!

Mrs Tourettes and I have just had f###ing wonderful holiday in Benidorm!

Apart from one day when f###ing pissed down! Mrs “T” said she was bored f###ing stiff.  So I decided to ask our f###ing rep what the f#ck we could do.

She said, go for a walk and explore the great Town Of Benidorm. I said f#ck off it’s f####ing raining.The reply came back:” Well take a f###ing umbrella”

Before we left the hotel our rep warned us about “Carlos The Cock Sucker”! She said you can’t miss him, he’s normally sat a mound of stone! Carlos The Cock sucker I thought, that’s a f###ing crap name!

So off we went on our walk in the f###ing rain…Mrs “T” trying to get me into every f###ing shop Possible!

Walking around a corner in the old part of town we came across a f###ing huge pile of rocks: On top was sat this Man dressed in a white linen suit a Panama Hat, smoking a f###ing huge cigar!

I shouted up to him “Oi are you Carlos The Cock sucker?” Every one around stopped what they were doing, you could hear a f###ing pin drop!

He Shouted back”Si Sennior… I am Carlos The Cock Sucker”

“Nice to meet you….Why do they call you Carlos The Cock Sucker?” I asked .

“Do you see the fishing Boats in the bay? My Great, Great grand father he build the boats, my Great grand father, he maintained the boats, my Grand father , he also maintain the boats, my father before me he also maintain the…I maintain the boats…Do they call me “Carlos The Boat Builder”? Do they f#ck!

“The cobbled streets….For generations my family have maintained the streets. Do they call me “Carlos The street builder”? Do they f#ck”!

“The church where every one goes to three times on a Sunday. My Great great great Grand father, he build this church, my Great, great, grand father carry on building the church; my Great grand father ,he maintain the church., my Grand father he also maintain the church, my father before me he maintain the church, I my self ,I maintain the church…only last I replaced all the tiles on the roof!  Do they call me “Carlos The Church Builder ? Do they f#ck”!

“I suck the one cock”!

Still don’t know why he’s called Carlos!!


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